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Darkshines1
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Name: Redmar
Birthday: 9/22/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Martial arts, Writing, Gaming, Movies, Women, Party's, Acting,
Expertise: How to spend a lot of money in a realy short amount of time, how to get into trouble, how to attract attention
Occupation: Student
Industry: Government
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/8/2005
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| well it has been a while since I last posted on my weblog (I've been busy doing other things). so it's the start of my last year on the school I'm currently attending. However before I graduate I will have to fight my way through 7 months of traineeship (bleg). and judgeing from the first week it is going to be a lon long fight. well at least I had a kick ass weekend. it all started on friday with the "Kroegentocht" and it was fun then I went out the following saturday with the intension of going home early. It actualy was 5 am when I hit the sack. only to be pulled out of bed by my father the following morning at 10 am to start cooking for my aunts birthday in the afternoon. so I realy didn't see the inside of my house that much this weekend. And I actualy enjoyed myself the entire time. but now it's monday again and there is another week of work lying ahead of me. (bleg) well on the brightside I got the thursday of becase it is my birthday (yay turning 19) well got to go
bye
Darkshines
oh I almost forgot I wanted to post this poem online it is in dutch (not that that should be a problem seeing all my readers are dutch)
ik liet mijzelf verzinken in mijn gedachten, daar in die eindeloze oceaan verdronk ik bijna, alleen om gered te worden door jou verzorgende woorden, waarin ik mijzelf compleet verloor, oh waarom moest nou juist jij mij redding zijn?
It is a bit quirky I know but it just came up when I wasn't all that happy so I wrote it down. | | |
| Well here I am agian, and I ask why is it that men in books and movies
are always the strong and tough guys and if he isn't strong and tough
he is bound to be gay? now this is me a guy who is so deadly afraid of
asking that one special girl in my life, if she has any feelings for
me. I am so affraid of asking this girl that I actualy fall in love
with other girls yust to avoid having to ask her. so what is the worst
that could happen if she rejects me than that would simply mean that I
have been waiting for nothing. so that would break me for a couple of
days to be sure but hey I'll get over that and I'll no where I'm
standing. Aand if there are feelings than that would simply mean we
could have a great time ahead of us. so what is holding me back this is
something I can not awnser and even tough all my friends say to me yust
don't wait to damm long for she might fall in love with somebody else
because she thinks you have no feelings for her. And the thing is I can
do nothing else than agree with them so why is it that I do not have
the guts this simple question?
well I'll yust be here and ponder on that question, losing evermore time.
on a positive note I went to Groningen today and I only spend 20 euro's
(a alltime low for me) now I will go to bed tomorow morning is kung fu
at 9 am.
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| well this is me again, I kinda feel like posting on my log again.
well let me try to write something positive on my log for a change.
wel let me start by saying that today I started listening to jimmy eat
world. well this band just hit the spot right away it is melodic rock
music whit some verry good lyrics and that is what seems to do the
trick for me most of the time. I also downloaded a movie about
"how to be emo" it is a great movie about the emo lifestyle madProps
for it creator Christian Bretz. it can be downloaded at www.somethingdirectory.com yust check it out. wel let me yust keep it at this for this moment and I'll check back when I realy have something to say. | | |
| So it's me again,
It is about 11.30 pm so don't shoot me down if I stop makeing sense
somwehere down the line. Anyhow I just came back home from my local
Arena magic leauge. And I accualy won a game today (yay for me :))
however magic took my mind of some of the things I seem to be faceing
next year. Questions like what school will I go too when I finish this
year and how will I make it trough another 7 months of practical
training (the previous 7 months have been SH*T). but on the bright side
I actualy figured out wich girl I like the most. I came to whe
conclusion that whatever I feel for the other girl is acctualy an
excuse to keep me from asking the girl I'm going to ask now (now I just
need to make a plan on how to ask her), you see flirting with girls
acctualy isn't that hard but asking them that is where te things get
pretty complicated. My friends acctualy say that it is pretty simple
however I know that is not the truth. well anyhow this is it for today
I guess so me thinks I'm going to sleep now. I need to work tomorow :S
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So this is my first post on my Xanga site. so I actualy have no idea
what to write right now, except that I feel shity right now. you know
the feeling where you are in love whit two girls at the same time, and
you realy love them both but you don't know wich one to choose. this
dilema is realy getting me down and is distracting me from my work. and
you know what I don't even know if one of those girls acctualy loves me
although I do get the feeling that they like me wich at least is a step
in the right direction. anyhow that's it for now I'll post again if I'm
ready to make my decision. Or if there is any other thing I want you all to know
greetz Dakshines1
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